A Roller Coaster Week

Today seemed like the right day to write my second entry. It's been a good day, with lots of rest.

The last 2-3 days have been filled with so many questions from our awesome family and friends. We are so fortunate to have such caring people around us. Hopefully, this will answer some of the questions...

Before I catch you all up on today, a little background might help.

It has been QUITE an interesting week with all of my stims (that's the IVF term for stimulations). It is SO crazy how they control your body/cycle/vagina/etc. It is way cool and way confusing at the same time, but after learning about all of it, it's more cool than anything.

Here's the long short of it. :) This is a short video, if you feel like watching. The guy's accent is awesome and the video is really helpful. Well, it was for me.

Click if you want to see it

My first and only blog entry was typed Sunday night, so nine days ago. That was the first night of the Follistim shot. If you had a chance to click on the link I connected to, they do a good job explaining what it does. But basically, it makes your follicles with eggs grow!

Here's the good old Follistim pen ready to be injected into my belly...one of the 3 shots each night!

Typically, you have like a tree of eggs each month. Plllleeeease don't take these as doctors terms. I totally made up the tree thing because my mind automatically translates things to first graders' understanding.

This first picture is a normal person, not under IVF stimulation, showing the follicle with egg that will most likely ovulate...

                                                    THIS is what it looks like when you're going through IVF stimulation...

Anyway, yes, the tree. Each "tree" of eggs typically has only one egg that matures that month. That's the one you can get pregnant with when you ovulate. Well, what my doctor does, as do many Reproductive Endocrinologists, is she gives me this Follistim with a specific dose to grow EVERY one of those eggs on that tree, or as many as they can. Then, I go in for bloodwork basically every morning before work and they check my estrogen level because that should tell how my eggs are growing, without having to do an ultrasound evvvvery day. Oh, they were growing alright. My nurse calls in her sweet nurse voice and says something like, "Soooooooo, you responded really robustly to the stims and your estrogen level aat 778." I said, "Okkkkeee, where should it be?" She tells me they hope for around 200. Crap!!! My first thought...maybe I DO have a little bit of Fertile Myrtle in me. Holla!

THIS is what I seriosuly felt like!

Anyway, these numbers KEPT jumping crazy high and they were worried. My doctor is really awesome and she watched me closely from then on, both through ultrasound and bloodwork. I was humongously bloated, so much to the point that my jeans wouldn't fit. I had to break out my maternity jeans again. Mixed emotions on that. They always make me miss our baby so much, but, as weird as it sounds, I think about the baby a lot and it makes me smile because when I wore them most often, our little baby was inside of me. And the other side of it is that this hugely minor bloatedness could lead us to an outcome that would make me, or us, literally, the happiest people in the world!

So they kept decreasing the dose and then on Sunday I went in for another ultrasound and some bloodwork. And since it was a weekend, Bubba (Bob's nickname) was able to come with me. He is so great. He loves our doctor as much as I do, and when he's not looking, I can see him getting excited at times for what could be. <3

Ok, so, my nurse called me Sunday afternoon as I was literally getting on the high speed line to go to the Philly Home Show (with my bff Kristen, my momma, and Kristen's mom and aunt). I was nervous and excited, uhhh so I guess that would be anxious, to hear what Dr. Kalra's plans for me were. I knew that Dr. Kalra had found FIFTEEN follicles (potential eggs), which explains the bloatedness, so I was getting close. And guess what the nurse told me...I was going to get my trigger shot that night! I was excited because it's a big step in getting closer to the doctors retrieving my eggs and fertilizing them.

So, while all of you (and me, Bob, and Kristen) were drooling over Beyonce and watching the Super Bowl, we were getting ready to put a giant needle in my heiner. They give you a specific time to take it...my time was 10 o'clock. You HAVE to take it then or when you get to the doctor, they beat you. Just kidding, but you do have to take it exactly at the time, because they retrieve the eggs almost exactly 36 hours later. That's when the eggs are the best. Crazy, right? Side note: Beyonce is AMAZING. I just love her! Another side note, Bob put the shot in while Kristen covered her eyes because she didn't want to see my heiner and because the needle was large. It was one of those moments that none of us will forget. When I say Bob is "hands-on", I really mean it. He darted the shot like a champ.

So yesterday was a pretty normal day, other than a sore heiner and feeling crazy bloated and wearing yet another pair of maternity pants to school. I was so curious about what today would be like...our retrieval! The unknown is nervewracking as hell.

The process of the retrieval itself was uneventful. I've been under anesthesia a lot, so that was not something I was worried about. My biggest concern curiousity was how many eggs they would get...and this is what I woke up to...

Yes, they write this on your hand for you! It was a good feeling. Yes, at first, I was sore, but then sore turned to crampy, and crampy turned to gassy. Lucky Bob! So yes, 14 eggs were retrieved. That's a good number. Now, they are being fertilized or attempted to being fertilized. Tomorrow, Wednesday, we will know how many were fertilized. Then comes the transfer. That's when they put back one embryo and then only time will tell. Well, time and shots in the butt. I start progesterone shots tomorrow, in the butt. Did I say that yet? This whole process, from last year until today, has definitely made Bob and I closer, whether we like it or not! Fortunately, we do. :)

At this point, we are mentally prepared for 3 possibilities:

1) Dr. Kalra decides to do what is called an "all-freeze", which is when all of the embryos, or blastocysts are frozen. This would be done if my E2 (estrogen) levels don't seem right.
2) We do either a Day 3 or Day 5 transfer, an embryo or blastocyst transfer, and find out roughly 2 weeks later that it did not take and we are not pregnant.
3) We do either a Day 3 or Day 5 transfer, an embryo or blastocyst transfer, and find out roughly 2 weeks later that we are pregnant.

We are mentally prepared for all three. I feel like, with Bob, we can get through anything. And having gone through the things we have, we can take it all in stride and keep looking up. :)

Breaking the Ice!

So I've been thinking about writing these for quite some time now. Just wasn't sure if there would be anyone interested in listening! Bob and I are always answering lots of questions from the awesome people in our lives that care about us so much. What better way to answer, than to keep you informed through my new blog (so fancy, I know :) ). 

Here's our story up to today, January 27, 2013: After dating for a couple of years, Bob and I got married on April 4th, 2009. Here we are that day!

It's funny how the day you get married, you have NO idea what's ahead of you. We knew there would be some really, really hard times ahead. We knew you can't just skate through life having things the way you "plan", but we couldn't have written this story then...especially with my mom, Joyce, being better known as Fertile Myrtle in her glory days.

So we decided to wait until we felt financially stable to try to have kids. After my youngest sister was married in December of 2010, we thought we'd give it a try. Then, in June of 2011, we were pregnant. As many people have experienced, the word "ecstatic" does not come close to how excited we were! It was awesome. Bob and I felt ready to give so much love and put in whatever it took to be great parents. We decided we did not want to find out if the baby was a boy or a girl...so much fun that way (in our humble opinions). I felt my belly grow and every single morning and every single night I thanked God for giving me this chance. We knew how blessed we were at every moment. We knew that having a baby doesn't come easily to many people and we knew that life is precious. We have learned from experiences, one in particular, that you just never know, and that EVERYTHING in life is to be appreciated. Talk about that more later...

My pregnancy was going smoothly, other than the obnoxious concerned nurse practitioner that told me that I should only have gained 2-3 pounds that month and I gained 4. Rude!!! I felt like telling her that at least I had an excuse, what's hers???

Ok, moving on. Our checkups went well, baby had a strong heart beat and we were hunting for a house. Yes, life was great! Then, on October 17th, 2011, we went in for an ultrasound. The week before, our ultrasound was great. Our little angel was breech, so this ultrasound was to get some better pictures. So on that Monday morning, Bob and I went in, excited as ever. And that's when we were hit with the "we had no idea what was ahead of us". We had lost our baby. There was no heartbeat. And while I'm still not ready to go into detail more about that day, I can say that it was awful. And I'll leave it at that.

Fast forward a few months and we wanted to try again for another baby. We tried and tried, but it wasn't happening. We knew we could get pregnant, so that was great! We just didn't know what the heck was taking so long. After another 9 long patient months, my doctor sent me in for some fertility testing. The big test was something called an HSG. That test showed that I have what's called a unicornuate uterus, aka unicorn uterus. I was like, ummmm, a what? Wellllll, unicorns like rainbows and so do I so I'm not THAT surprised! Side note, I love rainbows for anyone who was unaware. :) Anyway, the following month I had to get an MRI to see specifically what kind of unicornuate uterus I had, and yup, I had the kind where you need part of it removed. Son of a bitch. I was mad that I was going to be missing work right before Christmas...the best time ever to be with first graders!!! Yes, I was nervous going into this surgery. When people mess with your girl parts, it gets personal. And I've had lots of surgeries for Crohn's Disease, so it had nothing to do with going under the knife. I just didn't like the fact that I could wake up and they could tell me some more bad news.

But you know what?.. That's not what happened at all. It's really, really, true that when you least expect it, good things happen. So when I finally got back to my fancy room at The Ritz Pennsylvania Hospital and saw my awesome surgeon, he had good news. My uterus, well half of a uterus, was normal! And on top of that, I could try to carry a baby. Bob and I were very happy to hear this. Side note, Bob is totally awesome. He's insane and crazy and hilarious, but great and an active part of everything. I am blessed to be his girl. I wish I know how to make a heart on this thing, cause I'd do that right now!

And, as of last week, I have started all of the fun shots for IVF. This past week wasn't bad. Small needle for Lupron, which basically keeps me from ovulating. And on Friday, I went in for an ultrasound and some bloodwork, which was all good. The dr. said I am ready to start Follistim shots, along with the Lupron shots, so we are on our way! As I took a break from writing this tonight, Bob and I did the first Follistim shot. He put his in his butt and I put mine in my stomach. Juuuuuuusttt kidding. He doesn't have to do any shots, unless its tequila like last night!

It was all good, an experience we are going through together. Every single time of confusion, every bit of pain or uncomfort I feel from shots. All the lack of sleep, the crying, the ADDing at the doctor will be so worth it when God decides its our turn to have a baby, however that may be. And we are so excited for that day... So until then, the two of us will continue to crack up laughing at as much as we can and try our best to remember to take it all in stride..